• As a souvenir from her stay in Botswana, Mary Edwards brought home a slave.
    -- opening to "Hers," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • Friday night, and Sandra was reviewing Books II through VII of Plato's Republic, highlighter in hand, the desk lamp angled to reach the slant-frame chair in the corner.
    -- opening to "More Than a Platonic Relationship," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • Joe and Norma never fell into the usual marital spats about free time and sex and money and power.
    -- opening to "The Perfect Couple," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • Beware the impractical man, a passel of schemes in his head—"I will invent a combination shoe-sneaker called the seeker, which always finds its way home"—with a wild glint in his eye—"I will arise at 5:30 every morning to read Dante and learn Italian that way."
    -- opening to "A Man of Ideas," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • Three miles from the outskirts of Ita Bena, Mississippi, the B'nai Brith Mitzvah-Mobile began to sputter like an indignant old uncle.
    -- opening to "Mississippi Breakdown," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • I didn't know whether to bring flowers, which don't say much to someone from a basic subsistence culture.
    -- opening to "My Date with Neanderthal Woman," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • Vinnie Cartolucci could locate the exact moment he became a poet.
    -- opening to "Afternoon of a Poet," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • For fifteen years, or a total of forty-five semesters including the summer sessions, Professor Eric Slough had taught at Wonomac College.
    -- opening to "What the Thunder Said," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way: a blind overstatement, as Berger Bergson had once written in The Aphorist, a semi-annual organ of his own devising that now cluttered the periodical shelves of research libraries across the country.
    -- opening to "The Adjuster," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • The young man placed his hands over the table, as if blessing the ham biscuits, deviled egg plate, pasta salads, green bean casserole, cocktail shrimp and at least a dozen other dishes.
    -- opening to "All You Can Eat," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • Amy was conceived by two irresponsible individuals, Doug and Dora, during a commercial break in Superbowl XIII.
    -- opening to "Question Authority," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • The Bar None in Bend, Idaho, has a welcoming committee of one drunk blonde named Elma, smarter than you think, who works on her comeback lines the way some women work on their nails.
    -- opening to "Returns," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • "I guess eating yourself technically is cannibalism," remarked Doctor Wilding, "but other issues are involved here."
    -- opening to "Food for Thought," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • At age thirty, Daryl knew that his marriage was the best thing that ever happened to him. At age forty, he felt the same about his divorce.
    -- opening to "With," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • The work's simple and repetitive, pick up the trash, pick up the trash, pick up the goddamn trash.
    -- opening to "Waste," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • The third time Marlene stole my wedding ring, I decided maybe it was time to leave.
    -- opening to "Petty Larceny," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • "My sweater is broken," said Natasha.
    -- opening to "Natasha," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • When I think of Duff, I think of the itchiness of everyday life and the scratchiness of certain individuals.
    -- opening to "Portrait of Duff," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman
  • Jill and I watched from the back-row bench as Charlie drove a whining electric car back and forth across the stage, finally exiting at a rakish left angle.
    -- opening to "Educating the Animals," from My Date with Neanderthal Woman

If you've reached this web page, you're either curious about the writings of David Galef, in search of a cheap laugh, or terminally confused—maybe all three. This website might help with all these issues and even cure persistent insomnia. Or it might do nothing for you at all. But at least give it a chance. It's got author information, books on display, writing samples, and more. In short (sigh), it's the usual author website. You know what to do. Start scrolling and clicking. Any questions, you know who to contact. Whom to contact.

Sincerely, David Galef

Dry Ink

My Date with Neanderthal Woman [2011]

A collection of thirty-three visions of lives that—let’s hope—are far from your own.

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Japanese Proverbs: Wit and Wisdom [2011]

A new collection of proverbs translated from the original Japanese and explained.

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Communiqué

For those wanting to purchase individual stories at a buck a pop, go to click here!

Author Event

Saturday, March 23, 2013, 8:00 p.m.: joint reading with Mia Siegel and Cassia Rainne at SOMI Fine Art Gallery, 50 Stangl Street, Flemington, NJ. Contact Dorothy Fine at dorothy.e.fine@gmail.com.

Author Event

Thursday, September 27, 2012, 8:00 p.m.: joint reading with Alice Mattison in D-253 Engleman Hall, South Connecticut State University, Fitch Street, New Haven, CT. Contact Tim Parrish, parrisht1@southernct.edu.

Author Event

Wednesday, May 9, 2012, at 7:00 p.m.: reading from My Date with Neanderthal Woman at Montclair Public Library, 50 South Fullerton Avenue, Montclair, NJ; contact Linda Welch at linda.welch@bccls.orgvent

Past Tense

Abridged List of Work

A quick list of David's work for the slightly curious.

View Work List

Full Curriculum Vitae

A full list of work and accomplishments for those with a bit more time on their hands.

View Full CV